Filed under: Oddball
Filed under: Tourist
Adder’s sent us a holiday snap to amuse us in the long dark days of the international break.
Looks like he’s finally done something with his hair too…
Filed under: Tourist
Word reaches this blog that that the manager of FC Werder Browmen has taken advantage of the international break to conduct a solo scouting trip to Thailand.
If he plays his cards right he may even find some, ahem, romance. Wonder what type he’ll go for…
Lower than a 10?
Justin decided to change his PC password after his girlfriend happened across his ‘Special’ folder.
Filed under: Man Boobs
”Well, it’s bad news for Alec ‘The Adder’ Harvey. Just three weeks ago, he was as short as levels (Evens) to win the GoD, but has drifted to Burlington Bertie (100/30) after the stark revelation that he’s blown his wad and committed himself too early. Be it Fun Runs or getting engaged, the boy just can’t help himself!
He’s still favourite, but coming up on the rails is Rod ‘Cack Foot’ Marquis, who is Rouf (4/1), while the famous non-league player, and infamous non-payer Justin Gentle can be backed at sixes.
The incredibly handsome and sexually magnetic Marc Sinfield is available at 8 (but enough of his private life), while renown pervert Mark King is a cockle – that’s 10/1, but you can insert your own joke anyway.
My stunt double, Nick Leonard, is a 14/1 chance while Les Ferdinand should be avoided at 20/1.
Ian ‘Dr Doolittle’ Bickerstaff’s team is living up to his nickname – by doing very little – and should only be backed with Gentle’s money at 50/1 (which can be found under his bed, beneath the squeaky floorboard).
James Town is hoping for a miracle – no, not the one about free Persil for a year – but the one where players who don’t even play in the Premiership pick up points. Utter gash and is unbackable at 200/1.
And despite not even being in the league you can still have a piece of the Brothers Grim (John and Paul Skitt) at 10000/1.
Which leaves the plucky outsider Neil Bailey at 50000/1. More chance of Anne Haddy winning methinks. Now, I WANT MY DIET COKE!!!!!!!!!!”
John McCririck was speaking from the Nick Leonard Health Studio, Halstead Hill, Cheshunt.
Filed under: Speculation
The word on the GoD messageboard (from a vocal and not very anonymous source) is that the early pacesetter has put all his eggs in one basket, and has tinkered to the point where he only has five transfers remaining. With two thirds of the season to go.
If that’s the case, then surely he’s blown his load too early?
Remembering a similar capitulation in Portsmouth the bookies, led by ‘Honest’ Slam, have already lengthened his odds significantly..
Filed under: Weird stuff
I had a look at the stats of people visiting this blog. And there has been loads. Over 1000 to date. And it’s not just us by a long stretch. Some days we’re getting over 50 hits
The thing is, you can drill down and see where these hits are coming from. And most are from Google searches.
Then it gets really worrying. Top search terms are:
- Boobs
- Man Boobs
- Freaky feet
- Weird stuff
- Chuckle brothers
- Jim Furyk
- Dirty feet
- Brown eye
And the strangest one…
- Paul Skitt
Obviously these are just key words mentioned throughout this wonderful humorous site which have made people click in error while they were looking for something else. But I do feel a little violated that people looking for mucky feet and boobs are coming here thinking they’ll find something which will help them to spurt their load all over their screen.
But the most disturbing question is this: Who or what is looking for the Chinaman? And in the name of God why?
Filed under: Mind Games
Second bottom, three players who don’t even play, and no interest nor hope of recovery.
The lights are on but nobody’s home.
Gentlemen, pat yourselves on the back. We broke him. Again.
Question 1: The team line-up below is an actual submission from this weekends round of matches.
The manager has made a number of basic errors – what should he do to rectify them?
a) Replace Kavanagh, Taarabt and van Persie. Invest in Broadband.
b) Buy another guitar.
c) Sign up for some kind of bizarre physical challenge, with no intention of taking part.
